Chinese New Year reunions are the Olympics of Small Talk.
Done right, you can turn awkward interrogations into laugh-out-loud moments and actually enjoy your pineapple tarts in peace.
Here’s some of the best ninja moves you can employ – from polite sidesteps to Auntie-Proof evasions.
This article was written by a Financial Horse Contributor.
The House Rules
- Smile first, pivot second. A grin buys you 3 extra seconds to think.
- Answer short, ask long. Give a 5-word reply, then ask them a 15-word question.
- Use props. Mandarin oranges, a toddler, or a plate of yu sheng lets you “oops – you need to go” your way out.
- Have three safe pivots: food (“is this a new brand of pineapple tart?”), travel (“Japan or Korea this year?”), and family pride (“Show me your grandkids’ pictures”).
Marriage / “When’s your turn?”
Blame the BTO: “Government says BTO not ready.”
Loaded pivot: “Auntie/uncle – how many years have you been married? Did you/Are you planning to celebrate your [20th] anniversary?”
Last year, my cousin Ben got ambushed by two aunties at once. He pointed at the lion dance crew downstairs and said, “Wah, if I marry, must book that lion also—Auntie sponsor or not?” They laughed, he laughed, and five minutes later everyone was arguing about which pineapple tart brand is the yummiest.
Kids / “When is baby coming?”
Gentle deflect: “In the process, but work is very busy. Did you know [super boring and technical work update]”
Reverse-UNO: Ask about themselves / or their kids’ plans to have kids.
My colleague Priya swears by this. An older uncle asked, “Why no kids yet?” She replied, “Many people say parenting is tough but rewarding. What’s one thing you wish you knew earlier about raising kids?” Uncle spent 30 minutes explaining / recollecting the struggles of parenting.
Salary/Bonus / “How much you make now?”
Polite wall: “Market rate”
Finance-nerd dodge: “It’s complicated with my bonus and share plan structure”. Pivot to tax issues/ tax rebates and give your auntie/uncle a tip or two!
Pivot with an ask: “Not enough. I want to change job with higher salary. Do you have any lobangs?”
A friend in audit swears by this. She taps her watch and adds, “You know quarter close lah.” Uncles nod sagely, conversation shifts to “last time my company…” war stories.
Alternatively,
“Small lah—but I’m focusing on dividends. They pay me to nap.”
This line made my retired aunt perk up. She spent 20 minutes giving dividend picks from the 2000s. You only said “mmm” and “ah.”
Housing / “BTO or condo?”
Cheeky: “Still waiting, Auntie/Uncle can you let me stay at your house?”
Data-style: “Waiting for the right house.” Start analyzing housing options and prices – ask for their opinion.
Pivot to Reno: “You renovated in 2019 right? Was your ID/contractor good?”
My friend JX survived a 30-minute ambush by asking his aunt which quartz countertop chips less. JX took notes on his phone like a serious producer; interrogation ended, relationship improved.
Weight / Looks / “Why so thin/round?”
Playful: “Now everything also can filter/photoshop, let me show you…. (aunties LOVE a good photoshop app)”
Health re-direct: “Did you know polyclinics offer very affordable blood tests?”
Boundary (firm but kind): “I’m feeling great—how’s your knee after the last hike?”
Be the bigger person by complimenting them instead.
“I think it’s just because my clothes aren’t flattering — your cheongsam is very nice leh. Where did you tailor it?” Auntie launched into a tailor masterclass and promised a contact.
Career / “When you getting a stable job?”
Upbeat: “My career is going great actually, thanks for asking!”
Mystique: “Working on a project but I cannot say – haven’t announced publicly yet.”
Pivot: “Which industries do you think have a better future? Some recruiters told me [industry] is going to be very hot”
When in doubt about any form of career question, just throw AI under the bus.
“Aiya nowadays AI is going to replace all our jobs. What do you think?”
Investment / “Buy what now?”
Cheeky: “I diversified into pineapple tarts—sweet and low volatility.”
Safe wisdom: “Same rule as mahjong—don’t go all-in when you just sat down.”
Pivot: “Did you hear about this latest scam?”
Anything related to investments or money, you can surely throw in some fear mongering about the latest scams to distract. Your relatives will even thank you for warning them about the newest / sophisticated scams out there.
School / PSLE / “How well are you scoring?”
Ambivalent: “Some good some bad, always can be better.”
Coach mode: “Need to go more tuition. Any recommendations?”
Pivot: “What was your best and worst subjects last time? Do you remember any of your teachers?”
Talking about the best tuition places is a sure-fire way to distract. Then lament about tuition prices, bring in inflation, and you have a winner.
There’s nothing better to bring Singaporeans together than complaining about inflation.
Relationship Status / “Is that your boyfriend/girlfriend?”
Don’t Paiseh: “Just say yes.” Throw in some PDA and they’ll definitely leave you alone.
Redirect with task: “Can help us take a photo with [oldest relative]”
Reverse-uno: “We’re actually thinking of starting a business together, do you want to invest?”
My friend Shan brought a friend to avoid questions. Auntie: “Boyfriend?” Shan: “Photographer.” They did a 10-minute photoshoot of the family and everyone was ecstatic.
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Field Guide: What Actually Works (ranked)
- Ask for advice. People love being experts.
- Redirect with a task. “Can you help me with this?”
- Offer food. Hands and mouth become occupied, no time for questions.
- Change the audience. “Group photo time!”
- Compliment boomerang. Be charming, not combative.
- Cousin switcheroo. Simply praise another cousin about his/her newest milestone. Attention diverted, crisis averted.
- Toilet time. If all else fails, simply excuse yourself.
CNY is a time for family get togethers, good food and laughter.
A good dodge isn’t rude, it’s an elegant reroute back to food, family, and fun. Huat ah!
